You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
vagina is talking i cant
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
