bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Even my vagina gasped.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
