Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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