it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
