She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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