Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
