I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
