I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
there was a trapeze. enough said
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
