Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
