at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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