did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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