New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
