RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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