You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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