It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize