Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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