We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
