who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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