Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
