Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
