My hand turned me down
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
