you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
