Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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