Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
