Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
