Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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