do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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