we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
