glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
