Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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