Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
