Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
