If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
