Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize