a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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