Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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