do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
