chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
