I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
