I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize