I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
