I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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