Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
