The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
