Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
They took my balls.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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