people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
