So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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