yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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