New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
