I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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