Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
