My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
