Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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