You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
