they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
