I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
