It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
