i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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