It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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