I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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