Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
