Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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