Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
