Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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