i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
