Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
