Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
someone owes me an orgasm
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
