The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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