if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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