i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
