I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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