I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
